A New Door - A metaphor

I recently had a new door installed in my entryway. You can see the old door - white, plain, and the worst part - it had no window. No light. No way of seeing the outside except through a small peep hole and a transom window above - no view.  I think a lot of the last decade of my life has been like that -- since divorcing 10 years ago (almost to the day), it's been difficult to find my way. To find the light. Always looking at the minutiae, worrying about the small stuff. Seldom paying attention to the big picture. Trying to control everything and everyone. And the worst part, often not being able to control myself. I've learned so many lessons in these 10 years. Some painful, many surprising, and all adding up to learning more and more about how my life should be lived.

In the past year and a half, amazing things have happened. Real Miracles. One after the other. It's like getting the lesson and moving on to the next and getting that lesson..and on it goes. The new door in my new house is perfect. I can see the light. I love the colors I chose - and chose purposively because I love them, not because I needed approval. I love the glass - the way it dances and shimmers and the graceful, simple design that is it's centerpiece. It looks like I feel. I can't wait to see the sunset through my door and the sunrise tomorrow, and every day thereafter.

My house is my home now - it took 10 years to get to this point. A real home! - not an apartment. I love the way it looks, the way it feels and it's mine - all the choices were my own. I will share them here soon - promise. Will post before and after photos- it's been awesome!!  Here is my friend Sam installing the new door:

And here it is completely installed - part of my home. Light streaming through the shimmering glass, a perfect hue of blue greets my guests and those who are invited to enter the peaceful space within.

My life feels that way now. No more fear or need to control. More secure in my own skin, confident of my own abilities, wanting to give to those that need it (vs. those whom I chose) my help, and so appreciative of simple attributes in others such as honesty, integrity and good character. I now seek those invaluable qualities in those I choose to call my friends rather than those who flatter and/or deceive, avoiding and/or denying the truth.. No more peep holes -  now seeing the big picture. Feeling the peace, the serenity that has eluded me for a very long time. I know who is in control now, and He is leading the way. I am utterly and completely grateful to Him for all He has done for me - even when I wasn't paying attention and took so much for granted, He was there, waiting for me to turn His way.

I love my new door, and my new life. I look forward to every day and pray that I can be a blessing to others as I have been blessed.